Love latter

I cry for you ! Never want you leave me.
Tell me What.s on your mind !
Oh, I miss you so,,, you.re my everything !
I will love you until eternity .
Give it all a bit of time, give it all just one more chance !
You're for me the smile of live :)
I want you to be a part of me !
So many Question unswared.
I can't take it no more !
You're my everything . I will love you !
Until eternity :)

ini Putih abu ku ! mna putih abu mu :p

*baju sekolah putih abu :p

hal ini buat netes air mata

tadi nya sih niat nya cuman mau buat kopi buat nemeni sambil online !
Eh liat mama sedih melamun jadi berhenti !
sambil nyamperin mama mau nanya kenapa kok sedih :/
aku    ; kenapa mama ?
mama : gemetaran mama kak :/ #mewek (⌣́_⌣̀)
aku    : lah kenapa kok bisa ? belum makan pasti yaa ? ato mikirin papa ?
mama : mikirin cita2 mu kaq ! mama dri td mikir sma prediksi uang buat sekollah mu :(
aku    : iyaudah lah mak ggausah pun jadi aku polwan gapapa lah :(
mama : bisa nya itu nang ! abang mu kan udah mau kerja juga !
           tabung la jajan mu jgn lagi royal2 nang  !
aku    : udah lah ggausah pun gapp nya ! gga pun gilak aku gara2 itu !
mama : bisa nya itu nang ! bagus2 lah kau belajar yaaa biar bisa masuk soal uang bsa !
aku    : iyah mak :(
mama : jang melawan2 sma mama yaa nang ! biar mudah rejeki !
aku    : iyah #nangis (⌣́_⌣̀)
mama : jgn nangis ! nanti kok udah bisa kau polwan !
           harus kau masukan adk mu tentara ya !
aku    : ahhah iyah ma :*
mama : uda sana lah kau
aku    : iyah :* makasiia ma ≧^◡^≦






kalau ku bayang kan mau nangis aku laa awal nya mama ngga setuju aku polwan ! dia mau aku kesehatan ato guru ! tapi aku tetep ngotot ! cuman papa yang dukung aku polwan ! taapi sekarang balik 180 derajat ! mama ku yang paling motivasi kasih dukungan dan tekanan biar jadi polwan -(ˆ▽ˆ)/ -(ˆ▽ˆ)- \(ˆ▽ˆ)- ! eh tiba2 papa gga setuju -_- gga jelas kali :( tapi makasiia ma buat semua nya :* emuach ♥♥♥

nemu note yang lama !

awal nya iseng bongkar meja belajar rupanya nemu note yang isi nya buat aku ketawak ngakak :D 


ini gatau tanggal nya !
*my first loph is benry ku ! he is my life ! together forever ! love you so much !
i will love you! you until eternity ! iben love melvi ! hugs
my life not so much without you !
so please don't leave me alone !
hahhahhaa Lucu yaaa kata 2 nya dulu !


da gitu kebaca lagi !
*mein name ist melfi !
ich komme aus T.Tinggi ! ich wohnen in jln.m.akub hasibuan !
ich bin funfzhen ..
mein liebeling ist benry ! ich liebe dick benry :D ahhahah #ngakak


trus ada lagi :D
*06-12-2011 !
lovely...
mein liebeling hill pradipta 20.08.2011


trus note waktu smp !
*Gara2 aku bilang awas nanti ilang tiba2 si raja ngerasa kalau aku bilangin dia maling !
trus aku bujuk.2 dia supaya gga marah ! da gitu langsung datang eriko nawarin minyak kayu putih buat raja !
tiba2 raja bilang "udah gga usah nanti ilang pulak lagi minyak kayu putih nyaa...
ya aku bilang "yaudah deh kalau masi marah :(






hahaha kalau ku baca semua nya lucu2 kali kan gga mungkin kali ku tulis lagi di sini >,< 
capek dong :D cerita nya yang itu ajaaa deh ! sebagian nya kalau ngga salah udah ku sobek yang semua tentang benry :/

Cinta tak bertuan :/

Kesepian hati ini
Bersamaku membunuh jiwaku
Semua daya tlah ku coba
Melabuhkan hatiku ini !
Mampukah aku pahami hatimu
Temukan cinta itu

Reff:
Kemana cinta ini
Cinta tak bertuan
Selalu menghantui
Di setiap hidupku

Tak kuat raga ini
Berdiri menanti
Hari demi hari
Mencari indahnya cinta

Semua daya tlah ku coba
Melabuhkan hatiku ini

Mampukah aku pahami hatimu
Temukan cinta itu

#gga ada kerjaaan !

#me and sist

 #me and father

#mom n sist

#me, sist and brother !

#sist

#brother

#ME

#kesal saat pagi.pagi udah jatuh dari tempat tidur !


#kesal saat di suruh masak dan diling cabai !


#kesal waktu di bilang abng sama mama masakan ku masakan manado bikin sakit perut ajaa !


#kesal pembantu berhenti jadi aku cuci baju sendiri setrika sendiri :@


#kesal waktu hujan gga jadi jalan.jalan !


#kesal mimpi pacaran sama rezki aditya tapi di pipisin :D


#kesal di banguni tidur siang nya !


#kesal waktu berantem sama mama cuman nyuruh kami 3 mandi :D walau pun gga mandi juga :) hihi


#kesal waktu mkn di ganggui !


#kesal abang belum mandi kasih ketek nyaa sama aku !


#kesal badan kepanasan lengket2 jadi mandi mlm deeh -.-


#kesal gga daa celana yang bisa di pakai tidur semua pada kotor gada yang nyuci dan akhir nya tidur pakai rok mini >,<


#kesal modem lelet !


#kesal pulsa sampe sekarang ngga di isi papa !


#kesal sampe sekarang gga jadi beli hape baru >,,<


#kesal yang paling parah aku di suruh kusutin mama ! 


dan akhir nya aku ucap kan hari ini macam semFUCK BuSuk !

Cry again :(

why? why should I and my family who felt this god!

This evening I could not see her! I always shed a tear!

if this is indeed destiny, do not you take my mother's god! I'm not ready!

that could be me first from the mother! because I know I can not live without her: (

even though every day I was angry at all because a mother would love me god!

please heal my mother! he's looking forward to face this all! God protect and bless him! do we still need it!

I cry every time! My heart and feelings like crazy face it all! I could not God! god help me! help!

every time I cried I always hated my father! This is all because of him! he is already ruined for all of this! I really hate her! he's better that you were the law of the mother my god! he was an evil god is not my mother! I really loved my dad but I hate her!

god is this fate? I want my life as it once was! quiet life, happy, luxurious! I know god is not wheel would spin forever above us! but this is all spin 180 degrees! This drastic change in my life! I begged my god my life back and my family like the original! I do not want to see my mother crying: (I beg God granted me my prayer request: '(because you only asked if I could do and pouring the contents: (

My god please protect my mother :(

more like this if I want to cry just the father: (
I could not see if my mom sick like this: (
doctors do not even know what ill mother (the father show your miracle,
Please heal her father's!
if you had heard the mother say do not kill me I'm the father of a spontaneous hug mecry: (
Did our fathers have lost him as soon as it later? Did the father have?
I know I'm bad at mom!I like to fight, argue and shout it!
But God would know I loved AND LOVING IT!
bole when the father begged him not to take from us so soon: (
do we need her father! love and attention!
Our fear of his father without! tag someone like him who can replace him it: (
I want him to see me I was growing up, achieving the dream! see me get married andhave children :) it's my dream: (length of its lifespan it! protect her father! minimize the distress of her!
He accompanied her every step of my Lord please: (

I'm sorry for what I might have done wrong

It is horrible,
When you know that the person you love,

That the person you care about is mad at you or indiffrent.
It is awfull to feel that lost to wonder.....


To just wonder is he still mad,
does he still love me,
am I still worth the things he thought I was worth before,

Because I know I was not worthy of it in the first place.

The thought of what he might be doing can be unbearable...
Did he found someone better then me ...

Because you just know he deserves better
and there are alot of better things out there then you...
you just wonder ...

if he finally found something better to do then waste you time on you...
when they become distant...

But even though these thoughts will keep me up all night...

I somewhere hope that he still loves me....
Still cares ... that the distance I feel is just a illusion..

Or do I just simply miss him so much that I imagine him being disant while he is in fact not...

All I know is that I love him and that he has my heart ...

So for whatever I did wrong ...
I hope that he could find within his heart the strength to forgive ,,,
That he may have sweet dreams tonight....
because I know I will be thinking of him...
and miss him tonight....

Thank you for taking care of me

I havent written for a long time 

Because I just didn't know how or what I should write

I have been puzzeling and trying to find my way.
I have been lost lately not knowing what I do and what i don't want out of my life

but no matter how lost I get 

I know I want to be with you

You can always make me smile,
Even when I would like to just dig a hole crawl into it and die
you make me want to open up,
even tho all I want to do is to crawl in a corner and cry all day long, 

I have been sad not knowing what is my fault what happend to me in my life
And what is someone elses

I have been changing my view I had of the world 

Sometimes I cry not knowing what I should be thinking or should be feeling,
Or when a feeling shows up out of my past,

When I remember that I opend up,
Like really opend up letting everything down that protected me and I got turned away
When I remember those times all I want to do is cry.... Just cry for what happend and what was

Now i found you I see that I love you 
I see that I Miss you when you are not near... 

It is weird it is like you are a pièce of me a happy one and that if you are not close to me I don't know where to turn

You are my safe haven,
My harbour where I can just be myself and show my pain without being laughed at or turned away....
Atleast I hope so

I apologize for it that I put that burden on you.....

That I put it on you to help me Guide me through my pain 

To help me Find me who I am again 
But the better version because you opended my eyes to other ways too perceive 
To see myself as a better person...

You once asked if it helpen that you said nice things about me
yes it does,
It is hard to see it but I believe it when you tell me and look deep in too your eyes. 
When I look in your eyes I believe I am all those things you say.
And every day I start believing it a little more even if you are not around me and I can't see your eyes, even then I simply believe that you really mean it and believing that makes comes easier to me every day ...... I hope I am not wrong for believing in it ?


You make me a better person
À proud person

But it is hard to find a new way,
Because I can't go back to my old self and old ways I realise that,

But finding a new path is hard and a struggle and that's I what you have seen me do the last few days.....

This is just a message so that everybody can read that I am thankfull that you stick with me even tho it has been hard for me lately ... Even though I have been Sad... 

You have been there for me always making me smile,
Always making me laugh 
And most Importantly to let me remember what good there is in me which you see,
That you help me remember that there is a reason to love the world Because you are in it, remember that even when I break someone .... Not just someone you Will be there to catch me and hold me... And care that I am Sad.....

I think that that is a important reason why I have been able to cry lately even though I havent been for years.....

I couldn't cry for years Because I knew nobody would care Or that they would be glad I was Crying Because that would mean they had won ....

But Now I know if I cry someone does care .... So Now I met you I can finaly start to heal and better myself.... Because I know you care... or atleast I believe you do

And for that I thank you very much ..... I love you.....

I “Love you” just the way you are.

Although you never said the word “love” to me,
But I see from the look and your attitude,
I can read the word of  “love” in each of your steps for me ..

gga sengaja keputar lagu ini lagi barusam :'(

kalau dengar lagu ini
david archuleta - wait
bruno mars - it will rain 
bawaan nya mau nangis ajaa kok :( 

If you ever leave me, baby,
Leave some morphine at my door
'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don't have it anymore.

There's no religion that could save me
No matter how long my knees are on the floor
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin'
To keep you by my side
To keep you from walkin' out the door.

'Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday it'll rain, rain, ra-a-a-ain

I'll never be your mother's favorite
Your daddy can't even look me in the eye
Ooh, if I was in their shoes, I'd be doing the same thing
Sayin' "There goes my little girl
Walkin' with that troublesome guy"

But they're just afraid of something they can't understand
Ooh, but little darlin' watch me change their minds
Yeah for you I'll try I'll try I'll try I'll try
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make you mine

'Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday it'll rain, rain, ra-a-a-ain

Oh, don't you say (don't you say) goodbye (goodbye),
Don't you say (don't you say) goodbye (goodbye)
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make it right

'Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday it'll rain, rain, ra-a-a-ain

How do i live ?

How do i get through one night without you my boy mr.b ? 
If i had to live without you. 
What kind of life would that be ? 

Oh, i need you in my arms, need you to hold. You're my world, my heart, my soul. 
If you ever leave. Baby you would take away everything good in my live. 

#and tell me now. How do i live without you ? 
I want to know. 
How do i breathe without you ? 
If you ever go. 
How do i ever, ever survive ? 
How do i live ? 

Without you... 
There'd be no sun in my sky. 
There'd would be no love in my life. 
There'd be no world left for me. 

And i.. Baby i don't know what i would do. 
I'd be lost if i lost you. 
If you ever leave. 
Baby you would take away everything. 
Real in my life. 

Please tell me baby, how do i go on ? 
If you ever leave. 
Baby you would take away everything. 
I need you with me. 
Baby don't you know that YOU'RE EVERYTHING. 

:') for you mr.b

my boy !

malam mr.b :) lagi apa di sana ?
eh tadi mama nanyain kamu loh , tapi aku gga jawab !
Gatau mau jawab apa ! 
tadi nya si aku cerita sama mama ada cowok yang nyatain cinta sama aku !
tapi aku tolak ! da gitu kan cow tu tanya aku udah punya pacar apa blum!
ku bilang ngga trus kata mama " loh kau kan masi sama si b masa gga ada jawb nya !
spontan sedih kali loh dengerin mama bilang gitu :( mau nangis ajaa # jadi teringat semua nya !
aku udah cobak jalani tapi gga bisa tanpa mu ! kalo tuhan tanya mau ku hari ini ! 
aku mau cepat2 tamat skolah biar aku nagih janji mu ! masih ingat kan janji mu sama aku :(
aku sayang kali sama u loh myboy :( aku rindu semua yang pernah ada ! buat mu mr.b kau tepati janji mu yaaa aku nunggu loh :) Oke

Pertemuan singkat, dan berjalan sangat cepat. Tidak di sangka, aku langsung terhipnotis oleh mu .. ^,^
setidaknya .. Kamu, sempat menjadi milik kuu. Meskipun tak lama hal itu pernah membuat, ku bahagia :))

haisss... Kau ga ngerti yaa ??! Rindu MAMPUSS aku sama kau. Ngerti'in akunya yaa ^o^ akunya pengen kau disini lagi. Ga diem'in akuu begini :( jangan marah lagi boleh ?? yayaya ;) kau tetep disini

nothing!